


trust my love

by antlsepticeye



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Arab Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Napping, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Showers, and he is my arab baby now i do not Care, however i would absolutely die for jon regardless, i just think jonmartin are neat, i know nothing about tma, im going to be honest with you guys, listen jon dissociates martin grounds him they shower together they nap, my friend just got me hooked on jonmartin and i wrote them this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28952496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antlsepticeye/pseuds/antlsepticeye
Summary: “you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	trust my love

**Author's Note:**

> hello uhhhh
> 
> okay i know next to nothing about tma !! i just know that jonmartin soft and gay !! so i'm sorry if things are funky i just think jonmartin are neat :[ also jon is my arab baby because i said so
> 
> so have a soft sweet jonmartin <3 translations are at the end!!

“jon?”

jon tears his gaze away from the ceiling and looks over to the door. martin’s peeking inside, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. “jon? i thought you had gone to sleep already, didn’t i tell you you should take a nap?”

jon blinks at him slowly, eyes slightly glazed over as he shifts his gaze back onto the ceiling. truth be told, martin’s voice felt awfully muddled and far away, as though jon was hearing him speak while underwater.

the bed dips next to him, and jon blinks once more to see marvin peering at him, the look of concern still on his face. he brushes back the curls from jon’s forehead, and jon shudders violently at the touch. martin immediately pulls his hand away, but jon leans up to it, relaxing when martin pets his hair once more. martin mumbles, “are you alright, love?”

“you…” jon’s tongue felt heavy in his mouth, and he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. he wanted to lift his hand to cup martin’s cheek but his arm felt so heavy and weightless at the same time. “... sound weird.”

martin blinks. “care to elaborate?”

“feel weird. floaty. but awfully heavy,” jon mumbles, ignoring martin’s question.

“oh.” martin shifts slightly, hand moving down to cup jon’s cheek. “jon, dear, are you dissociating?”

“oh. oh yes, that’s … that’s the word i was searching for. odd.”

jon hears martin sigh and his gaze flickers over to him. martin’s mouth is still moving but jon’s hearing blocks it out as he stares at martin blankly, blinking lethargically. what was he saying?

“oh no, no, none of that, jon,” jon hears martin whisper, and jon looks down to where martin is pulling his -- his hand away from his arm? when did he start digging his nails into his skin? martin gently wraps his arms around jon and helps him to sit up properly. “we talked about this. here, hold onto my hands instead, love, and squeeze them however much you need.”

jon watches curiously as martin holds his hands, and jon squeezes experimentally. he feels… solid. he isn’t fading away ( _ is he talking about himself, or about martin? _ ). jon squeezes again, rubbing his thumbs over martin’s knuckles. that feels real. that’s nice. 

jon slips one of his hands out of martin’s grip, fingers ghosting up martin’s arm slowly. he occasionally grips and softly squeezes his arm before running his fingers up and down martin’s arm. his other hand squeezes martin’s as his roaming hand moves up to martin’s face, cupping his cheek as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.  _ martin’s skin was soft,  _ jon thinks to himself as he strokes martin’s cheek curiously. martin turns his face to press a light kiss against jon’s palm, and jon feels his cheeks warm up.  _ damn you, martin _ .

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

jon focuses on martin’s heartbeat and breathes in time with martin. martin coos soft reassurances to jon the entire time, squeezing his other hand occasionally to further ground him. soon, jon’s taking a deep breath, eyes fluttering before he focuses on martin, the fog fully cleared from his mind. “hi.”

“hello, jon,” martin says softly, smiling down at him. “are you feeling any better?”

“yes…  _ shukran, habibi _ ,” jon mumbles, slipping into his native tongue. 

“do you know what was wrong?”

jon plays with martin’s fingers, pursing his lips as he tries to think of how to explain it to martin. “it’s… i--”

“take your time, jon,” martin reassures, pressing his lips against jon’s temple. “i’m not going anywhere.”

jon takes a deep breath, before quietly explaining, “i think… i think my brain didn’t like the loss of control of sleep.”

  
  
“oh?” martin shifts, questioningly hovering his hands over jon’s waist. jon nods and martin carefully tugs him closer, not quite on his lap but just about. “could you elaborate?”

“it might have had something to do with my coma alongside my insomnia,” jon says carefully, furrowing his brows as he twists martin’s ring. “my brain got all caught up with that, perhaps, and was terrified that if i fell asleep, that i… i wouldn’t…”

“that you wouldn’t wake up,” martin finishes. jon nods, averting his gaze, and martin whispers, “nothing is going to happen to you, i promise. you’re still going to wake up if you go to sleep, you’re going to be safe and okay. you’ll be okay,  _ ya hayati _ .”

“it has been  _ months _ and yet you still are unable to stress the ‘h’ sound properly just as i taught you,” jon mumbles lightheartedly. martin huffs and nudges his shoulder, making jon smile softly. “but… i’m just…”

“i know, you don’t have to say it.” martin kisses jon’s temple again, mumbling against his skin, “when was the last time you took a proper shower, not those hop-in-hop-out ones?”

“... i cannot recall.”

“alright.” martin tilts jon’s chin up, making him look at martin. “can you go take a shower for me, love? if you feel comfortable enough today, i can join you and help.”

“yes, please,” jon whispers, gaze flickering away from martin before focusing on him again. “i’m fine with you joining me.”

“okay. are you fine with your hair being washed today? or shall we save that for another day?”

“yes, that’s fine.”

“good boy.” martin chuckles as he sees jon blush, pressing a kiss against his jaw before jon looks away shyly. “go to the bathroom and i’ll be right there, i’ll just get us some clothes. we can take a nap together afterwards.”

jon nods and shakily gets up, martin gripping his arm and steadying him. jon takes a deep breath and smiles at martin reassuringly before going to the bathroom. he begins to take off his clothes but pauses after he takes off his shirt, staring at all of his scars littering his arms and chest in the mirror. he doesn’t realize that martin’s come in until martin wraps his arms around his waist, making jon jump in surprise.

“sorry, love,” martin mumbles, and jon twists in martin’s hold to lean up and kiss martin’s cheek. “didn’t mean to startle you.”

“it’s alright,” jon hums, smiling when martin kisses down his neck. “just… i was just thinking.”

“i don’t want you to dwell on your scars,” martin says, rubbing his thumb over jon’s hip. “i know it’s difficult, but for now, just focus on me, okay?”

jon nods and slips out of martin’s grip, fully taking off his clothes as martin does the same. he turns on the shower and tests its temperature before getting in the shower with martin. martin kisses jon’s forehead, mumbling, “anywhere i shouldn’t touch?”

“my wrist,” jon says after some thought. “and just warn me when you get to my hair. please.”

martin hums to show that he heard, kissing jon’s forehead again. jon flushes in surprise, ducking his head shyly. “ _ honestly _ , do you not get tired of all these kisses you give me?”

“no, not at all!” martin chuckles, bringing his hands up to squish jon’s cheeks and tilt his head up. he leans down to press a dramatic kiss against jon’s lips, grinning when jon squeaks indignantly and weakly pushes at his chest with no actual negative intent behind it. “look at you! how could i resist?”

“oh, stop it,” jon huffs, no bite in his tone. he leans his forehead against the crook of martin’s neck, adding quietly, “just… hold me for a bit? please.”

“of course.”

martin hugs jon, pulling him close and resting his cheek against the top of jon’s head. jon wraps his arms around martin, relaxing in his hold and smiling softly when martin starts to trace patterns on his back. they stay like that, content under the steady stream of water from the showerhead and in each other’s arms. 

eventually, jon leans back a bit, and martin looks down, smiling softly at jon. “a bit better?”

“yes. thank you,  _ habibi _ .”

martin’s smile widens and they both set to work to help the other wash up. jon hums in content when martin washes his hair, gently running his fingers through jon’s curls. martin’s just always so  _ gentle _ with jon and it makes jon practically  _ melt _ at his touch. martin chuckles at the way that jon nearly slumps against him in content when he starts rubbing his scalp.

they both finish washing up, sweet little kisses shared along the way. martin reaches behind him and turns off the shower once they’ve finished. martin pulls back the curtains and moves to grab a towel, but jon reaches up and cups martin’s face, standing on his tiptoes and kissing martin. martin squeaks in surprise, not used to jon showing sudden affection like he just did. jon smiles against martin’s lips when martin grips his waist, instinctively pulling jon closer to him. martin pulls away to lean his forehead against jon’s, a fond look in his eyes as he whispers, “i love you with all of me.”

“ _ miʾaẗu qalbin lan yakūnūā kaāfiīīn liḥamli ḥubī lakī _ ,” jon whispers back, albeit shyly, as he nuzzles his nose against martin’s jaw.

“oh? that’s a new one.” martin leans back with a raised eyebrow. “what does that mean?”

“i will  _ not _ tell you.”

“please? for me?”

“… a… a  hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you.”

“oh.  _ oh, jon _ .”

“shut up,” jon grumbles, feeling his cheeks warm up in embarrassment. he shudders a bit at the cold, and martin lets out a small, “ _ oh! _ ”, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around jon before grabbing one for himself. “thank you.”

“of course, love.”

they both step out of the shower, drying themselves off in a comfortable silence. martin turns to give jon some privacy as they dry off and put on their clothes, making jon smile softly at the thoughtfulness. his smile widens when he realizes that martin had given him one of martin’s hoodies to wear, instantly putting it on with a sigh of content.

martin turns back around and pulls jon close, kissing his forehead before turning him around so his back was against martin’s chest. jon relaxes as martin warns him that he’s going to touch his hair before he begins to gently brush his hair, careful as to not tug too hard on his curls. he feels martin pull his hair up and tie it in a loose bun and martin kisses to top of his head, whispering, “let’s go back to bed, love, i promised we’d take a nap.”

jon lets himself be led to their bed, but as he gets under the covers, he tenses, mind immediately beginning to race. he knows that martin promised that he’d be okay, that he’d be safe, but what if he wasn’t? what if he fell asleep and he really didn’t wake up again? what if he fell asleep in martin’s arms and woke up to find that martin was taken again? what if --

“jon?” martin says softly, stroking jon’s cheek and causing jon to jolt in surprise. “jon, are you with me?”

“y-yeah,” jon mumbles, fisting martin’s shirt. “nothing’s wrong.”

“please don’t lie to me,” martin whispers, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. “please tell me what’s wrong. is it the thoughts again?”

jon nods, feeling martin brush some loose strands from his forehead. “i’m just… i don’t want to fall asleep and then not wake up. or even wake up to find that you may have been taken from me again. i don’t want these fears to come true… i’ve dealt with more than enough.”

martin sighs. “i’m gonna touch the back of your head, okay?” when jon nods, martin reaches up to place his hand at the back of jon’s head, pulling him close and tucking jon’s face against the crook of his shoulder, rubbing the back of his head with his thumb. “i know that things may come back and bite us on the ass. it sucks. but i promise that everything will be okay and you’ll wake up safe and okay in my arms.”

jon takes a deep breath and nods against martin’s shoulder, curling up a bit more against martin. “i will … i will be okay.”

“exactly.” martin presses his cheek against the top of jon’s head, pressing a light kiss against his hair. “let’s just take that nap, okay?”

“okay,” jon mumbles, smiling shyly against martin’s chest. “okay.”

“ _ ana bahebak _ ,” martin says slowly, and jon chuckles at his pronunciation. “what? i said it right!”

“you need to work on your stresses,” jon teases lightly, closing his eyes. “…  _ wa’ana ahabuk ‘aydaan, ya hayati _ .”

“how sweet of you,” martin coos, pulling jon a bit closer. “sleep now, love. i’ve got you.”

jon lets himself relax, intertwining his legs with martin’s and slowly lets himself fall asleep to the soft humming from martin and his arms wrapped protectively around jon, safe and sure that he’ll wake up safe and sound.

**Author's Note:**

> translations:
> 
> shukran, habibi -- thank you, my love  
> ya hayati -- my life (kinda like? 'you are my life' but short and sweet)  
> ana bahebak -- i love you (masculine/said to a man)  
> wa’ana ahabuk ‘aydaan, ya hayati -- and i love you too, my life


End file.
